My body, broken for you.
These words of Jesus have taken on a new meaning for me this Easter. Perhaps my heart is beginning to understand what Jesus' mother, Mary, was feeling on this day 2000 yrs ago.
You see, when our child's life no longer becomes something we as parents can fix, it breaks us. When those whom we are called to be responsible for are so far gone that our efforts are futile, it can take us to dark places, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, and even physically. When we, as parents, are no longer in control and are faced with the reality that whatever end is in store for our children is now out of our hands, it can ruin us.
A week ago our family was there. As parents we had nothing to offer but our hands and feet; our broken hearts for our innocent 5yr old son. Things were out of our control and as we laid him down on the operating table and watched his eyes close because of the anesthetic, it was our undoing. We knew at that moment that whatever happened next was out of our hands...it was up to God and the wisdom He'd given to the doctors that would determine Jaxon's outcome. We wept for our boy as any parent would. The sense of helplessness contrasted with the sense of responsibility, coupled with his childhood innocence...was too much to bear. So we gave him up...we let go...we laid him at his Father's feet.
But what about Mary? Her son, Jesus, didn't have a disease, he had a calling. He was not innocent like a child is, but was innocent in that He had no sin in Him. He would voluntarily give his life up, not because he was sick but because He was healthy. How did that make Mary feel? How would she deal with the pain and loss of her miracle child which God's Spirit told her was the Savior of the world?!!! Mary didn't have to lay Jesus down, He did it himself. And the mystery here is that He did it for her, for me, for you, and for the world. Jesus gave his life so that we may have life.
Our bodies are alive because they have blood running through them; the heart is a wonderfully complex yet simple organ. Without blood our bodies are lifeless masses of flesh and muscles and organs. When the heart is stopped our bodies die. This is the wonder of what Jesus did at Calvary...He gave His life up so that our hearts could be brought back to life! Jesus laid His life down so that our bodies would not just have blood flowing through them physically, but that our hearts (our souls) would become alive with God's Spirit. And where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is freedom!
Although we remember Christ's death today, we can also remember that in His death we are freed from death. Because He chose to do what we could not do ourselves (namely, make ourselves alive spiritually), we are now free to embrace Christ's life for us or reject it.
On this Easter I am more aware than ever before the pain which Mary must have endured on that day at Calvary. I am also more aware of how helpless we can be as parents when we don't have the answers or reasons why something seemingly bad is happening to our child. And yet I am also now more aware than ever before that putting our full trust in Christ is where real peace is found.
His body, broken for you ...
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