counting down

APRIL 4, 2017

May 24, 2017

MAY 29, 2017

JUNE 5, 2017

S I X T E E N

This number is significant today for a few reasons. 

It's a new year - 2016. Hard to believe that 2015 has already passed us by. So many emotions as we continued on our path through cancer-land, and the new people we met and stories we heard along the way. This community of parents and children is unlike any other I have known. I am honoured to know these families and to share in their victories and heartbreaks.

I realize it's been a long time since I've posted any actual updates. I guess the main reason for that is that everything is going according to the plan! Jaxon continues to have monthly appointments. I've made a blurb on the side bar to describe what his current treatment protocol dictates.

In November Jax had his S I X T E E N T H lumbar puncture (spinal tap) under sedation. If everything continues to go according to the plan and protocol, he will have about 6 more before the anticipated end of his treatment in June 2017. We are well aware that everything going according to the plan is something we should not hold onto too tightly. 

We have now been in Long-Term Maintenance for just over one year, approaching Day 57 of Cycle 5. While much of the time we carry on with regular life and it could appear as though he is "cancer-free", that is not the whole picture. We are ever vigilant to watch out for potential exposures to illness. What is a minor, common, viral or bacterial infection for a child with a healthy immune system ... can rapidly become dangerous for someone like Jax who is immune-compromised. 

The dosages of the oral chemo he gets every day (and extra on Thursdays) are calculated based on his absolute neutrophil count (ANC). They want his ANC to stay between 0.5 and 1.5. Since beginning LTM in Dec. 2014 his ANC has stayed perfectly where they want it. At his last appointment in December, it was elevated above 1.5 so he got a minor increase of his Thursday chemo (methotrexate). He was also at the end of a viral cough/cold, so that could explain his elevated ANC. Since he had been hovering close to 1.5 for several months and then jumped to 2.3, they decided to see how he handles an increase. At his appointment on January 6th we'll find out if the dosage will stay the same or will be adjusted. Some kids run really high ANC all the time and are constantly seeing meds increase, some run really low and are on low percentages of meds. If the standard dose is 100%, some will get closer to 150% and some only 10%. Each kid is different, and the treatment protocol is designed to treat each patient according to their blood counts. He takes his 6MP first thing in the morning, and then has to wait one hour before he can eat or drink anything other than clear fluids. Some days, the wait is easier than others. 

Dex. Ooooooohhhh, Dex. 
Steroids are a powerful cancer fighter. I don't know why or how they work, but they do. Younger kids in cancer treatment take dexamethasone. Older kids and those who don't handle Dex well take Prednisone. They are taken for varying stretches of time all through treatment. Jax had 28 days at the very beginning, 2 stretches of 7 days (with 7 days off in between) in the most intense part of his treatment, and now takes them 5 days every month. Along with Dex comes mood swings, hunger, anger, hunger + anger = HANGER (it's a thing), agitation, short fuse, food cravings and aversions ... etc. The side effects are the most intense while he's taking the meds, and they can last up to a week afterwards. Even when he's not 'under the influence', I see some effects. He often tells me "I just don't know what to DO!" He said once "I wish I could go back to before I had cancer because I used to always know what to do and now I don't know what to do!" I think it's a restlessness and that's the best way he knows to explain it. Knowing he's hungry but not knowing what to eat. Fixating on something to eat but then not wanting it after he finally gets it. It's a tricky balance to navigate his mood swings, knowing that he is battling a chemical force. We work hard to extend grace while at the same time, ensuring he doesn't learn behaviours and carry them into his regular life. Roid Rage is no joke, and it has a mighty impact on many days of our life. 10-14 days of the month ... we tread lightly.

I found this perfectly worded quote online:

We still have to pay close attention to his body temperature. If he spikes a fever over 38.5* we need to get to the hospital immediately to begin IV antibiotics and find out if a bacterial infection is causing the fever. He could go septic very quickly if there is an infection in his port / line / bloodstream. 

I don't think very much about his monthly bloodwork until we get close to his appointment day. I don't dwell on the possibility of relapse, but as any oncology parent will tell you, the nagging thought is never far away. Remission is a wonderful place to be, but it can go sideways at any time. We remain hopeful that his body will continue to respond well to the treatment with minimal long-term side effects. 

At our appointment at BCCH in December he had an evaluation with an Occupational Therapist. He is part of a study group that is monitoring the effects of Vincristine, the IV chemo he gets every month. I don't have the results of her findings yet. He did the same tests after the first month of treatment.  She was short on time so couldn't complete all the exercises, but I'm hoping we can get that done when we go next time.

She was wearing protective gear because he had a cough, and she didn't want to pick anything up and pass it on to other patients and staff. It was the very end of the cough and no one was really concerned he was contagious, but the precautions must be taken.

It was lovely to be at RMH just before Christmas. The Grand Living Room is lined with about a dozen fully thematically decorated trees. The second night we were there, RMH had arranged for a bus to take families to Canyon Lights at Capilano Suspension Bridge. We had a great time, despite the rain. The ride through the city in the big, tall, fancy charter bus was probably just as exciting for my little country bumpkins.

I got to deliver some soft cozy hats made by my friend Jenny and her grade 4 students. Sweet Samantha picked one for herself and had a hard time deciding which of her many friends to give the others to. Jenny just gave me another bag full of hats to share around. She had made one for Jax when he was first diagnosed and it was such a perfect gift. She actually sent two for him in different sizes. We kept one and gave the other to Kaynan, the little guy we shared a room with our very first night at BCCH. 

Jax and Marek are 3 years apart in age but have a special bond as they were both diagnosed with leukemia on the very same day. We met in the halls of 3B. His Mama Amanda holds a very special place in my heart and we keep close tabs on how each other and our boys are doing. The boys follow the exact same treatment schedule. They travel to BCCH/RMH every month from their home in Whitehorse. We see them every six months when we go to our required appointments at BCCH. It should be noted that it's faster for them to drive to the airport, fly to YVR, drive to RMH ... than it is for us to drive to the ferry, cross the water and drive to RMH. 

Intermittently over the past year, Jax has had signs of blood in his urine. Just a few streaks one time and a slight pink tinge half a dozen other times. It's always been just once and then all is normal. No pain, no fever associated with the blood. Way back in the first month of his treatment, it was thought he might have a kidney stone, but nothing has ever been definite. Ultrasounds and x-rays have been inconclusive. Because of this he has had a few nephrology (kidney) and urology appointments both in Victoria and at BCCH. Again, all very mysterious as to what could be causing these random episodes. His kidneys seem to be happy and healthy with no lumps or bumps or kinks or cracks. We expect to just wait and see if any more symptoms occur and his team of docs will decide where to go from there. 

The wait to see the nephrologist was excruciatingly lengthy. 90 minutes after our appointment time, we met this lovely gal from Sydney, Australia. She's a resident, or medical student, or something. Can't remember. She went over his history with me and gave him a thorough once-over. Once she and the top doc looked at the ultrasound pics from the day before and reviewed his urine samples ... they sent us on our way. Poor bubs was super hungry as I let him sleep too long and he had that one-hour wait before he could eat. I had only brought a few snacks and the Dex was talking to him about ALL THE THINGS he wanted to eat. I wish I could remember this lady's name, she was great with him. She couldn't believe how strong he was, beating her twice in an arm wrestle. He could believe it.

This is my friend Sondra and her boy, Lucas. He is S I X T E E N. 

He was diagnosed with Leukemia this week. My heart aches for this dear family as their lives have taken this unexpected and frightening turn. I pray, with hope, that he responds well to treatment and can get back to the business of being 16 sooner than he could have thought possible after such an upheaval. They face the same three years of treatment that we are in the midst of (some different medicines because he is older), but his prognosis is very good. 

LTM Cycle #1 nearly done!

We are nearing the end of the first 85-day cycle of Long Term Maintenance. Only about 10 more of those to go. 10 more sets of 85 days. No biggie, right?

LTM Cycle 2, Day 1 will be Wednesday March 4. It will begin with an LP (lumbar puncture, aka spinal tap) to check his spinal fluid for cancer cells and to inject chemo into his spine, to kill any cells that dare show their ugly faces. He'll also get his regular monthly IV chemo (1.2 mg of Vincristine) and that evening will start the infamous steroid week. Again. More on that later.

As we began LTM, we were warned that it might take a few weeks/months/cycles to get the dosage for his at-home meds sorted out. Some kids tolerate 100% of the recommended dose. Some kids get bumped down to 3/4, 1/2, 1/4 ... I've heard of one patient who is at 12% of the protocol dose, because that's how much the child's system can handle and still keep blood counts within the magical window that makes oncologists happy. (ANC between 0.75 - 1.5.) If the ANC is too low, the kiddo is getting too much daily/weekly chemo. If ANC is too high, the kiddo needs more daily/weekly chemo to suppress the marrow enough to actively seek and destroy any remaining (or returning) leukemic cells. Jaxon's counts were great for the first check-up of this cycle. On the second check-up, his ANC had dropped to 0.64. Not yet low enough to adjust his daily/weekly chemo dosage, but low enough to watch closely for a few weeks. That day (Feb 4) he began his monthly 5-day stint of steroids (Dex). Dex is known to artificially (but still effectively) elevate the ANC, and the rest of the blood counts as well. The 0.64 result could have meant that he was brewing a virus like a cold, or could have meant that his body decided that the 100% dose of the daily/weekly chemo was too much. The plan was to check counts again in one week and see where they were at. The expectation was that they should be significantly elevated, as usually happens during Dex week. If they were still low, then something suspicious might be going on. I took him for counts on Feb. 10 and indeed, his ANC jumped quite a bit to 2.03. He also started getting a bit sniffly/sneezy/coughy that day - indicative that he indeed had been brewing a virus but the Dex had suppressed the symptoms. Oncologist was happy that ANC did rise with Dex, but still wanted to see where it would settle at after Dex had worn off. Today we went for yet another arm poke and results showed that his ANC is at exactly 0.75. Onc is happy with that, and we won't need to check next week. Two weeks from now will be regularly scheduled check-up (LP + IV Chemo).

If his ANC had still been low, we would have stopped all the at-home daily/weekly chemo until ... I don't know when. It's called a "chemo hold". Because of the clinical trial that he is on, once his ANC reached the minimum level, he would have been started back at a reduced dose of the protocol standard, and then watched to see how his body was tolerating it. For many kids, this up and down takes a long time and lots of bloodwork to get sorted out. The monthly IV chemo and the 5-days-a-month-steroid would continue, no matter what his counts are doing.

There's also something peculiar going on with his kidneys. Way back in May at the end of Induction, there was suspicion of a kidney stone as he had some crystals in his urine and some intense lower back pain. X-rays and ultrasounds showed happy kidneys and urinary system so we left it at that. He had one or two nights of intense lower back pain in August/September, but that could have been from the craziness of all the meds he had during DI at that time. In November and December he had a few pink pees (one with blood streaks), indicating that he may be passing a kidney stone. Pee samples were taken and he showed some indicators of possible kidney stones, but nothing definitive. ONC wanted to have another ultrasound to see if any stones might be visible. January 28 he had an u/s and it did show a 3mm stone. In-depth kidney analysis (via blood sample) showed some low numbers for something that I forget what it's called. It seemed "odd" to the ONC, but not concerning, but worthy of follow-up. She has been in touch with the nephrology department at BCCH to see what to do about the oddity. Special urine sample was sent to BCCH on Feb 4 but we learned yesterday that the sample was of insufficient volume, so it will be redone at our appointment in two weeks. Until then, we work very hard to make sure he gets a minimum 1600 mls of fluids each and every day. Our Onc and the nephrology folks at BCCH would like to find out what is causing him to retain excess calcium and create stones. He could be developing stones that usually dissolve, but this one got a bit bigger. The plan to deal with the stones would be to adjust his diet and continue pushing lots of fluids to help his kidneys flush properly. His symptoms are very sporadic so it's not an alarming or urgent matter, but not one that should be ignored.

Other than all of that business ... he seems the picture of health.  He's full of energy, constantly on the move, making us laugh and charming all the ladies. He seems to be over the virus that popped up last week, ending it off with a two hour nap on Sunday morning. He woke up around 8:30, took his meds, and headed right back to bed with a headache. Of course that sent my head spinning for whatever could be causing him discomfort, but he woke up happy and hungry as ever. I spent extra time taking his temp and frequently touching his forehead, watching for signs of fever. Thankfully, none!

The effects of the Dex are a funny thing. (Long-term side effects of Dex are not funny at all, but we'll deal with those if and when they come.) While on Dex and for several days to a week following, he has very little control over his temper. 'Roid Rage' really is a thing, this I know for sure! His hunger becomes insatiable. He wants something all the time. He either knows exactly what he wants and who shall prepare it and how it shall be served and who is allowed in the room while he eats it and who is allowed to watch him eat it ... or he has no idea what he wants. For him the not knowing what to eat is agonizing! For me, I'm not sure which is more tiring - the constant short-order cooking to keep up with his cravings or trying to come up with something, anything that might possibly, even remotely appeal to him. While the temper and hunger are most intense for about 10 days of the month, I notice that he also struggles with anger while not "under the influence". It becomes a learned behaviour that we need to curb when we know that the Dex is not immediately to blame. The hunger thing ... I dunno. He's super hungry on Dex, and just regular-old-really-hungry the other 20 days of the month.

Watching traffic with brother and friend.

* melt * 

Ice skating lessons with brother Marty!
He's also signed up for T-ball, to start in April.

He counted them ... at least 28, I think. 

Playdough pizza. Play imitates life. So hungry, all the time!