when cancer came (part one)

Do you know how to boil a frog? The theory is that you don't drop him into a pot of boiling water because he'll just jump right out. Instead, you put him in cool water and gradually bring it to a boil. Because the temp slowly rises, he doesn't realize what's happening and we all know how that would end for a frog. It was the same with the clues Jaxon's body was giving us that something wasn't right inside. We didn't see the external indicators as much because he was with us all the time. But for those who didn't see him every day, the signs were much more obvious. 

Starting near the end of March 2014, around the 28th, Jaxon had a cough and cold. I noticed that he had been tiring more quickly than he usually would. He'd come to me during the day for extra hugs and snuggles. Looking back, I think he was feeling fatigued but of course he didn't know how to express that and I didn't see it as anything to worry about. His cold symptoms didn't seem too bothersome. He had hives a few times, which was not a surprise as we had discovered in January that he sometimes gets hives when he's fighting a virus. He had some low-grade fevers now and then, but nothing alarming.

I took him to our family doctor on Tuesday April 1st, just to see what she thought. She said that he probably had the same crud that so many people seem to have at that time of year. She said his cough sounded just like many others she had heard over recent months, that it might linger for a few weeks but that he'd surely bounce back. Looking back on the summary of that appointment, I see that she noted he looked pale and subdued. The hives were consistent with his previous reaction to a viral illness. I hadn't been giving him any Tylenol or Advil since he didn't seem "that bad". She said to give him Advil every 8 hours for a day or so to see if he'd perk up. I kept him with me while the boys went to their weekly St. John Ambulance first aid class that night. Since he had a touch of cold and cough and wasn't back up to full energy, he was happy to stay with me. I had a previously booked appointment with our family doctor for myself the next day, Wednesday 2nd.  Jax was with me again and she commented on how he looked so much better than the day before and he was likely well on his way to recovery.  That night we had a Camp Family Dinner. Other than mild cold symptoms, he seemed fine to me. That night our friend Chris took one look at Jaxon and instinctively asked him if he was okay, if he needed to lie down, if he was going to throw up. He saw that Jax looked really pale, told me that he thought it looked like Jax was about to pass out. I appreciated his concern, but didn't think there was much to worry about and still assumed Jax was just getting over something. We had just seen the doctor the day before and she seemed confident nothing was seriously amiss. I don't remember much about the next several days, just that he was still tired and not his usual self. 

These next details are fuzzy for Paul and I, but this is the best we remember it. On Tuesday (8th) afternoon, Paul took the boys to drum lessons. Max had drumline practice and it was Jaxon's turn for his 15 minute lesson with Drum Teacher Conor. Marty hung out with Paul. At 4:45 when Max and Jax came out of their lessons, Drum Teacher Dustin commented to Paul that Jax looked really unwell, and reminded him how important it was to keep sick kids away from the group lesson as illness can spread so quickly on the team. We were still of the belief that he was just getting to the end of whatever viral bug he had and that he was no longer contagious. Paul then called me at home to see if I should call the doctor back to maybe get Jax in for bloodwork before the end of the day. I called the office but they were closing for the day, and told me to call at 9am the next morning for a same-day appointment. At 6:30pm on Tuesday the older boys went to their St. John Ambulance class. As Jax still wasn't feeling top notch, he spent that time with Paul after they dropped the other boys off. One of the SJA leaders mentioned to Paul that Jax really did not look well, and asked if he was sick. That's when the first red flag really broke through our "he's fine" bubble. Paul called me and suggested that I call his Mom to ask for her perspective on what to do next. We thought he might be anemic as a result of this viral sickness he had going on. That happened to my nephew several years ago when he was about 2 and a half. A viral illness can trigger a suppression (like a 'stop work order') of the bone marrow. It's a temporary condition that usually resolves. That's what we really hoped it was, and figured that must certainly be the answer. But we also had a nagging suspicion / fear / dread that his symptoms could very well point to something much more serious. 

Debbie:

Paul's older sister was diagnosed with leukemia (A.L.L. - the same as Jax) when she was 7 years old. Paul was only 4 at the time so he doesn't remember much about her three years of treatment. We've heard bits and pieces from Frieda and Deb over the years. I called Frieda to tell her about Jaxon's illness and the comments we'd been getting from other people, and to ask her about what Debbie's symptoms were before her diagnosis. Deb had some swollen glands, bruising in unusual places (abdomen) and petechiae on her chest. Her bloodwork revealed a low platelet count, while the other components of her blood looked ok. Although we didn't have bloodwork results to look at yet, Jax didn't have any of the symptoms Deb had so we felt reassured.

Debbie, recently returned home from initial treatment in Vancouver.
Age 7 (or maybe 8) in 1982. Bunny snuggles.

Deb & Jax meeting for the first time in June 2009. He was about 6 months old.
Deb celebrated her 40th birthday the same week that Jax was diagnosed.

Frieda agreed that a follow-up call to the Dr. would be a good idea, to insist we get bloodwork done, just to put our minds at ease. It was probably 'nothing' ... but we were not naive to the fact that it could be 'something'. 

when cancer came (part two)